Laughter jokes

Who tells the best chicken jokes?

Comedi-hens!

I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?

There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.

The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not."

"Not who?"

"Not your dad."

VOTING SEMIFINAL 2

LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺

DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

Vote for the better joke.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.

What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper?

"Hey, check me out! I'm on a roll!" 😂😂🤭🤭

Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.

What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.

I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.

I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.

He thought it was eggcellent.

You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Discord.

Discord who?

I need discord to plug in the phone.

Dad, I'm hungry.

Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰

When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"

So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"

And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."

Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"

And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."

And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"

Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?

Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.

Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?

Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.

Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Knock, knock.

Who is there?

Old lady.

Old lady who?

I did not know you could yodel!