Laughter jokes
Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.
My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.
Family are together playing charades.
Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."
What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!
What do you call a banana that peels itself?
Appealing!
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
Why did the clown not attack Mike? Because they bouncee.
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
I gave up hope and I liked it!!
I take meds to feel fantastic! (I kissed a boy{but fed up lyrics})
What is a Russian joke?
Something that will be funny for Russian people.
What is black and white and red all over? An exploding zebra!
My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.
There was a crying pandemic going around.
I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.
It's only rape.
If she finds out.
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!