I go to get my mail.
Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"
Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"
Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.
What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? Miscarriage.
That joke never gets old... but neither does the baby...;)
Anyone got any new jokes? I ran through all the pages already.
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"
Why were the Indians telling the others to chop off their noses when they got close to 12 inches?
Because then it would be a foot. LOL! I may have peed myself.
"Knock Knock" who's there "Not" not who "Not your dad"
The mirror says: "If you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck."
The Magic Jewel says: "If you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck."
The condom just sitting there laughing.
There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.
This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"
His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"
Stop ruining the jokes. It's called "worst jokes ever" for a reason. We all feel bad for orphans, but people like dark humor and joke about everyone, so quit being offended, please.
Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!
Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*
It's not rape if you're both crying.
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?
You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
