When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
Laughter Jokes
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
When I saw you, it instantly made me cry. LOL.
I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
Me: I have lost it.
Random: Lost what?
Me: My will to live.
How do you know you are blessed by God?
You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
Two test tickles.
I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.
It didn't land well.
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?
Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.
Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?
Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.
Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
What did the Chinese man say to his wife?
I'll chin you later.
