Last Jokes

I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. last time she just let it go.

I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed anyone know cpr? I said shit I know all the letters of the alphabet. Everyone laughed well except for this 1 guy

A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.

life is like a mcdonalds meal it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people

I fear my last words will be ''hold my beer and watch this.''

I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words, they wanted to hear them. They are: you still holding the ladder

Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”

What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?

Meals on wheels

Last time I got a piece of ass was hen my finger went through the toilet paper.

8008135 is my favorite number. The worst ratio is 6:9. And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?' Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six two.

I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me

let go of my nose

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's there last holiday for them but at least there still hanging on...

i don't know a orphan joke but i bib cyr last night

because i an orphan

my first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat

Ok guys I have one last joke (for now) What do you call it when panera is over Panera end

I went scuba diving last year. It was fun but at the end I ran out of oxygen. It was a breathtaking experience.

Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!