Last will jokes

I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.

Joe mama's so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it’s still printing!

Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.

Why are there no fat people in Japan?

Last time they had a "Fat Man," 80,000 people died.

1: My grandpa died last year.

2: What kind of cancer?

1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.

What is a queef?

Something your mum did in bed last night. 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️

Your mom is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.

The boobs was funny tbh... But the last was rude.

True Story

A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out, "He doesn't love me anymore!"

The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis.' The officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.

It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!

I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"

The last number of your like is the Amogus you get.

1: Amogus trollface

2: Frogus

3: Amogus in 2013

4: Chogus

5: Classic Amogus

6: Wait this isn't Amogus

7: Amogus drip

8: Amog sus

9: Amog stuff

Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?

A: "It's me, Luigi!"

They are making new versions of the Star Wars films. The names have only just come out.

There is Star Wars: Attack of the Trannies, Star Wars: The Trannie Awakens, Star Wars: Rogue Trannie, Star Wars: The LGBTQ Strikes Back, and then there is Star Wars: The Last Straight Man.

What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?

"Goodnight, Mom!"

The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"

Your forehead is so big, I took a picture of it last Christmas, and it’s still printing.

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.

We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.

Why do your orphans not drink beer?

Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.