I still remember my granddads last words,
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale the doctor said I want your weight and not phone number
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
Nothing lasts long these days!
As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
