When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas. Because their dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
i went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man." I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
the way u talk is so slow that the put u in the movie fast and furious and changed the title to slow and serious!!!😂😂😭
I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.
I'm no an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.
Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology
You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.
Ferb is older than Phineas because his last line
Ferb:I’m boutta blow this $&#t
n 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio. Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States. “Father, where is the United States,” Hans asked. His father pointed at a map of North America. “Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be,” he questioned his father. The man pointed towards the Soviet Union. “And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?” The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British. “Where is Germany again, Father?” He pointed to their home country in Central Europe. Hans pondered this information for a second. “One last question, Father.” “Yes?” “Has Hitler seen this map?”
Knock knock Who’s there Cabbage Cabbage who Cabbage doesn’t have a last name.
i shouted at a kid I told him to get his parents
it was the last time I worked at an orphanage ,🤣
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
A asian gets a choice between his rice cooker or his son he instantly picks the cooker and says "HE GOT A B+ IN MATHS LAST WEEK HES A FAILURE"
One knight a guy asked his wife were she wanted to eat she said Chinese food so he flew her to china the next night he asked her what she wanted to eat she said Indian food so he flew her to India the last night he said what do you want to eat and she said she wanted nothing so he flew her to Africa
I will never forget my grandpa's last words: What the fuck is in this drink
I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month. I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* mod
Mum finds out child cheats in math test. Mom says " there is no cheating in this house". Child " then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night? "
its better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? happiness never lasts forever
your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said i love you
Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?
A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream
picture of her last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.
You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.