Know jokes

Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.

I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"

Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."

Wanna know something the orphan could never do?

Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?

A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.

Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.

Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Neither did she.

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.

You know what's REALLY "Ironic"?

Answer:

These REALLY ARE the "Worst Jokes" I've ever heard!

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

There's no F in orphan?

Exactly.

I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.

I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.

You know what’s traumatizing?

Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.

Help!

Did you know the Titanic sank in water?

Titanic 1, Africa 0.

Walter, I don't know, man, seems kinda sus.

Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

Ben: I don't know.

Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.

Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!

Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!