Knock

Knock jokes

Life

    • Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    My life.

    My life who?

    My life is depressing...

  • 4

    • Jesus

    • Knock knock... Who's there? It's Jesus, let me in... Why? I have to save you... From what? From what I'm gonna do to you if you don't let me in.

  • 4

    • Orphanage

    • Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.

  • 3
    • Knock memes

    Rose

    • Bf: "Roses are red, violets are blue, you're my bf and I luv you."

    Gf: "I luv u too."

    Bf: "But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, I heard you were cheating, I'll knock off your head."

    Gf: "Ah, about that..."

  • 8

    • Letter

    • When I hired a Asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:

    Mr. Wong - I see he, so I climb up tree. He knock on door and she let him in. She talks to him, he talks to she. He undresses she, she undresses he. She plays with he, he plays with she. I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see... No fee.

  • 3

    • Chicken

    • Why'd the chicken cross the road?

    A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.

    (Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”

    A: The chicken.

  • 1

    • Susie

    • Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.

    Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.

  • 1

    • Grandmother

    • Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

  • 0

    • Boy

    • Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.

  • 0

    • Halloween

    • Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.

    She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."

  • 3

    • Misunderstanding

    • Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"

    Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."

    Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"

    So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."