Knock Jokes

Your family is so poor when you knocked the door for money I offered you a penny and when you knocked again the rock answered and knocked you out

Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*

Helen Keller (in her head): Wow, I didn't see that coming

Knock knock who’s there Candace Candace who Candace be true you don’t remember me

Knock knock who's there knock knock knock knock knock who knock knock you

So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why does he not wearing a costume, and he said he doesn't need to. Then I realized that he's a ghost, and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!

Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.

After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.

The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:

"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."

His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.

After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.

The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.

The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.

The receptionist responds:

"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms. Knock knock Who’s there? Not Susie.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Por que.

Por que who?

"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.

Sally fell off the swing. Sally has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.

A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and see's a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running building momentum before launching himself at the nun catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement. He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nuns ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habbit and lifting her limp to her feet til face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace the drunk victoriously growled. Your not so bloody tough tonight are ya Batman.

A man sacrificed children who played Roblox so when someone knocked on the door, they said "An administrator has banned you from heaven"

a man had 10 dead and blooduy babys in middle of his livingroom. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest to hide?

-boner.

#babyjokes

there was a man in a wheelchair and he got knocked out in front of a bus he had a wheelie good life.

Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?

The salad could be dressing!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Discord.

Discord who?

I need discord to plug in the phone.

knock knock whos there? lettuce lettuce who? lettuce in and ill tell ya

Two Native Americans 🥴🥴🥴

Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, "How would you boys like a blow job?" The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer. His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do that for?" Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting a job!"