Kids jokes
On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."
What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?
Chewbacca.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
If a pirate was a pervert, he would say, “Are you ready, kid?”
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
Q: What did the emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: I like ya cut, G.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Vote for the better joke.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
Why do emo kids wear hoodies all the time?
Because they are hiding stitches.
Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.
Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.
Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.