Kids jokes

What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?

You cry when you cut an onion.

What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?

One falls, while the other hangs.

What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?

Raisin kids!

Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.

I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.

I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."

What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?

The final countdown.

Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.

Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?

'Cause they're dark.

Q: What did the kid say to the emo kid?

A: Don't leave me hanging!

What did the emo kid say to the other?

"I like ya cut, G."

What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?

I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.

I got in trouble today because I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said, "Lighten up!"

There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.

What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.