Kids jokes

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One is dangerous for kids if put on their face, the other one is used to carry groceries.

She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”

The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”

Mom: “Exactly.”

Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.

When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of...

Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.

When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.

My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.

The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

Girl: I’m so in love with you!

Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.

Girl: What’s the ijk?

Boy: I’m just kidding.

Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.

I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.

It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.

I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.

Hear the one about the deaf kid?

He didn't.

Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher: What?

Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.

Teacher: Why water?

Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?

One kid in eight dustbins.

I saw a little kid crying. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. I got fired from the orphanage.

Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?

Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.

Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.

Q. What hits the ground first when falling out of a tree, a leaf or an emo kid? A. A leaf. There is usually a rope to stop the emo kid.