Kids jokes

History class

  • In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

    One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”

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  • Michael Jackson

  • There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

    What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.

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  • Plane

  • Tonight, on Top Gear!

    James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!

    Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!

    And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!

    Portal

  • Me walking in to the office:

    Principal: Tell me what you did?

    Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

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  • Orphan

  • One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.

    The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”

    Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”

    Cat

  • When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”

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