Kids jokes
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.
The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”
Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
One has a functioning neck.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
I saw a little kid crying. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. I got fired from the orphanage.
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
What happens when a depressed kid tries to give a tree a high five?
The tree leaves him hanging :)
Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying.