Kids jokes

Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Kid.""Kid who?""Kidnap you!"

Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?

Kids: Because you're a psycho path.

When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.

Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"

Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-

Why do emo kids cost so much?

Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.

The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”

Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me what you did?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?

Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.

What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?

One has a functioning neck.

Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher: What?

Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.

Teacher: Why water?

Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."

She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”

The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”

Mom: “Exactly.”

Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.

I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.

Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!

When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”