Kids jokes

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.

What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?

C sharp minor.

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

The dark side of kid songs:

You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!

I got in trouble today because I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said, "Lighten up!"

Why are kids so skinny?

Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.

There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.

If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?

"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."

"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."

What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.

I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.

A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"

The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."

I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."

Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.

What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?

You cry when you cut an onion.

I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.

What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?

One falls, while the other hangs.

What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.

What do you call a kid with special needs with a gun? Special Forces.