Kids jokes
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
Why do emo kids wear hoodies all the time?
Because they are hiding stitches.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.
Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:
*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
Stan Lee walked into a school one day.
Just kidding, he's fuckin dead :(
Kid: Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
Nerd: Because they're marsupials.
Kid: No, because they didn’t have the koala-fication!
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
Put a kid in a wheelchair in the Twin Towers. Damn, I love Hot Wheels!
Teacher: What is a cow?
Kid: Meat.
Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?
Kid: Eggs.
Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?
Kid: Homework.
The depressed kid went to high five the tree... but the tree left them hanging.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.
What did the downs kid get on his math test??
Drool.
Teacher: Alright class, let's sing our ABC's!
The gay kid: LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.
Prankster kid: Knock knock.
Neighbor: Who's there?
...