Kids jokes
I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
So, two kids argued and insulted each other.
KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"
KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
Memes
Like if u sleep naked
What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
What makes depressed kids jump?
Bridges!
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
A. Because he got hit by a truck.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.