Kids jokes

I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?

Hot wheels.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.

Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?

The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....

This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."

Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣

Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.

What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?

In-N-Out of kids.

(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?

(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.

(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!

(Kid) Quit what?

(Bus Driver) Living.

(Kid) But it was a joke!

(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.

(Kid) Ok.

(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!

I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.

What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?

The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.

So, two kids argued and insulted each other.

KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"

KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."

There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!

A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."

What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.

What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.

What makes depressed kids jump?

Bridges!