Kids jokes

Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?

The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....

Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.

Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.

I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.

What were the emo kid's pronouns?

Was/were.

(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?

(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.

(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!

(Kid) Quit what?

(Bus Driver) Living.

(Kid) But it was a joke!

(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.

(Kid) Ok.

(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!

I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.

What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?

The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.

So, two kids argued and insulted each other.

KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"

KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."

There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!

A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."

What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.

Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?

A: Wave at him.

What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.

What makes depressed kids jump?

Bridges!

Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?

Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂

Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.

Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?

They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"

An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"

I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.

Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.

...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.