Kids jokes
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your Parents."
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
Kid starts shooting people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣