Kids jokes
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.
What do you call a committee of emo kids?
A cutting board!
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry xdddd.
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they are all crying in a dark corner.
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.
Who do Chinese people name their kids?
Throw the forks and knives down the stairs.
"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."
(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?
Kid 2: Never leave home without it.