Kids jokes
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your Parents."
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
Kid starts shooting people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
What were the emo kid's pronouns?
Was/were.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.