Kids jokes

Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?

Cause they don’t know where home is.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?

Hot wheels.

Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.

This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.

What were the emo kid's pronouns?

Was/were.

I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.

Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.

Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?

The quiet kid: Splosion.

Teacher: What comes after A?

The quiet kid: AK-47.

Teacher: Faints.

I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.

Guess what? It had no home button.

I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.

What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?

The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.

So, two kids argued and insulted each other.

KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"

KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."

There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!

A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."

What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.