Kids jokes
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
Why couldn't the kid play on his laptop?
Because he has no arms and no laptop and no legs and no head and no home and no money and got shot.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your Parents."
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
Kid starts shooting people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
What were the emo kid's pronouns?
Was/were.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.