Kids jokes
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"
I saw a kid on the curb. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at the orphanage!
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?
Kid 2: Never leave home without it.
A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.
The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.
Why do kids have school every day? So that they can learn.
"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."
Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.
How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
A kid just becomes an orphan, well, I guess it's better than being a hobo.
I heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your Pringles.
Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."
What’s the difference between drugs and kids?
I don’t do drugs.
Time for double joke Tuesday.
What is a bird's favorite letter?
A C gull.
So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me.
Kid: You're a dick, you know!
Me: And you're a pussy, you know?
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.