Kids jokes
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus!
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.
Can emo kids get happy meals?
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.
Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.
Me: "/"
What hit the ground first, a feather or the emo kid?
The feather, because the emo kid was left hanging.
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?
"There's a great singer inside of you."
So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.
So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?
Are you kidding me?!?
I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂
Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"
The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"
What's an emo black kid called? A dark Drakie.
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?
I only stuff the turkey.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.