Kids jokes
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
Memes
Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
A. Because he got hit by a truck.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
Kid: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?
Me:?
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
I got sent to the principal's office after telling the kid in the wheelchair to do a wheelie.
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
Me vs. the emo kid: we go to high-five a tree. I get a high five; the emo kid is left hanging.
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.
How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.
Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.