Kids jokes
What do you call a bruised banana?
A school bus full of his kids.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.
Kid says to genie,
"I want to be like Batman!"
Kid goes home, both of them are dead.
Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
Why did the emo kid cross the road? To get a box of tissues!
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.