Kids jokes
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
A. Because he got hit by a truck.
Memes
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.
I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.
The emo kid went to give a tree a high five.
The tree left him hanging.
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.
What do you call a disabled kid on fire?
Hot wheels.
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
Why do people misplace 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.
Me vs. the emo kid: we go to high-five a tree. I get a high five; the emo kid is left hanging.
If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?
Society.