Kids jokes
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
A. Because he got hit by a truck.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
Kid: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?
Me:?
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
Why was the kid's report card all wet?
Because it was below "sea" level.
You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Why do people misplace 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.
What do you call a disabled kid on fire?
Hot wheels.
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
The emo kid went to give a tree a high five.
The tree left him hanging.