Kids jokes
A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"
The son: "I don't know, can I?"
The mom: "May you?"
The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
What's similar between a blind kid and an orphan?
They both can't see their parents.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.
I’m just kidding.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.
Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.
Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.
Kid 1: Aw, thanks!
Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.