Kids jokes

Soviet Union

    • An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"

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    • Potato

    • A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”

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    • Pedophile

    • What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

    They both shoot when they see kids.

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    • Kids memes

    Milk

    • Kid: Dad, where are you going?

    Dad: To get milk.

    TEN YEARS LATER

    Kid's friend: Where's your dad?

    Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.

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    • Music

    • I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

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    • Time

    • Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?

    Kids: Because you're a psycho path.

    Orphanage

    • When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.