Kids jokes
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
Q: What do Epstein and Dahmer have in common?
A: They both like to eat kids in and out.
What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.
What do you call a stoned kid with Down syndrome?
A baked potato.
Hey, Squidward, say "kid" backward. Also, suck my dick!
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Names......
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
Why do orphan kids never eat homemade food? Because they don’t even have one!
How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
Why did the goat have an abortion?
Because she already had too many kids!
Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.
Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"
Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."
Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"
Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."
Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"
Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?
Stupid kid: No.
Bully: You should go get one!
Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.
What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?
Nothing, he was hanging.