Kids jokes
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
A. Because he got hit by a truck.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.
Memes
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Why did KFC take orphan?
Because kids fattening center.
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.
Q: How do emo kids complement each other?
A: I like your cuts g.