Kids jokes

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.

Teacher: What is a cow?

Kid: Meat.

Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?

Kid: Eggs.

Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?

Kid: Homework.

What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?

Shoot kids in them ;)

Stranger: Tries to kidnap a kid.

Kid: Runs home.

A few minutes later, the kid was in the back of the van...

If you know, you know.

Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

I gave a blind kid a pistol and said it was a hairdryer.

What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.

Why are autistic kids a stupid, brainless, special freak?

What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?

Kids ride for free.

Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?

They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"

My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

What do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a swimming pool?

Vegetable soup.

Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.

What did the kids say hi to? A slide.