Kids jokes
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43, 43, 43. A kid walks up to the man and says, "Why are you saying 43, 43, 43?"
The man stops and looks at him, then he starts jumping again and says 43, 43, 43.
The kid asked him again and so on.
Then the man stops, opens the pothole, throws the kid in, closes it, and starts jumping and says 44, 44, 44!!!"
Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
Best not leave hungry kids unattended!
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?
If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."
"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."