Kids jokes
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 53, 'cause my basement's still dark.
I never knew the kid at school had autism. I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs.
People call me a bad person, but just the other day I saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents. I love working at the orphanage.
What in the world jumps the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
the little kids these Days
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
Warning, this is dark.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch? Give 'em a Sandy Hook.
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.
They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
There was a kid sitting in a corner.
Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"
Orphan: "..."
Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
