Kids jokes

What do you call a white kid who kills another?

Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.

I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?

I love working at an orphanage.

What do dark humor and kids with cancer have in common? They never get old.

Don't make fun of the emo kid, or he's gonna bring his friends and you gotta fight the Suicide Squad.

The depressed kid tried to high five the tree.

But the tree left him hanging!

Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?

Answer: She’s dead.

Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.

In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”

There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.

Tonight, on Top Gear!

James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!

Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!

And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!

What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?

Dark humor never dies!

Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline.

The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.

The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"

Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.

A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.

"Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.

"My wife cheated on me," a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Dave says.

"I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."

Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:

"Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"

Do you know why I hate pedophiles?

They are fucking immature kids!

I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.

Just kidding.

What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?

Nothing, he had no friends.

One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.

The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”

Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”

Why do emo kids cost so much?

Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?

Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.

What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?

One has a functioning neck.

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me what you did?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...