Kids jokes
School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"
Orphan: "My family never came back for me."
School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."
Why can't two Asians have a white kid? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
When you're watching a 9/11 documentary, that one kid in your class finds the 97th Jenga block and knocks it down.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
What do you call your kids?
What is a show for kids?
Barney.
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
What's the best thing about Covid-19? It gets into any kid.
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."
I gave an emo kid money.
He gave me the great depression.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.