Kids jokes

Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."

The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"

Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

A: Neither of them get to see their parents.

Why did the emo kid not cross the road?

He was waiting for a car.

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.

What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?

School shooter.

What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂

This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.

Call a group of emo kids Suicide Squad.

Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?

He kept cutting in line.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Neither of 'em can see their parents.

I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.

Oh, I just love talking to orphans.

"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.

“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.

Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.