Kids jokes
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
When the school shooter starts doing Fortnite dances and the autistic kid joins in.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"
What do kids play when they have nothing else to do?
Bored games.
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.
Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.
Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.
Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
What do you call a bruised banana?
A school bus full of his kids.
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.
"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit." "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife." "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk...!!!!"
What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?
One falls, while the other hangs.
I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
Ur mum geiy 69 dinner 42 es dee get rekt kid 360 quikskope biatch!
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.