Kids jokes

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.

I think my family is racist.

I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.

When you were supposed to help the depressed kid, but not "help" the depressed kid.

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

What did one depressed kid say to the other?

Hey, wanna hang together?

I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.

If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents at first."

What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.

When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."

Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.

What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?

In-N-Out of kids.

Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”

Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”

My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"

A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.

The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"

An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.

How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!

What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?

Do you want to hang later?