Kids jokes

Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...

"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"

"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."

What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.

How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!

What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.

There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"

What do you call a gang of emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"

What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?

Kids play with both of them.

What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?

Do you want to hang later?

An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.

I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.

Why can't two Chinese people have a white kid?

Two wongs don't make a white.

When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.

So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”

What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

You give them a Sandy Hook.

"So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.

what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?

steamed vegetables.

When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.