Kids jokes

When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.

I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.

That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...

I think my family is racist.

I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.

If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?

The brakes, you sick bastard.

A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.

Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”

Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”

An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...

"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"

"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."

What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?

Sum ting wong.

What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.

How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!

An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.

What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?

Do you want to hang later?

An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"

What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?

Kids play with both of them.

When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.

There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"

I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.