Kids jokes

My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*

Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.

I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.

Oh, I just love talking to orphans.

Call a group of emo kids Suicide Squad.

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂

This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.

What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?

School shooter.

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

I’m just kidding.

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.

"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"

"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."

The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.

"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.

"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.

I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.

Guess what? It had no home button.