I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
Kids Jokes
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
Where do Down syndrome kids go shopping downtown?
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.
Me: "I like kids."
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
Why can't two Asians make a white kid?
Two wrongs don't make a white.
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
I got my orphan kid a phone. She was pressing the home button, but it didn't work.
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
