Kids jokes
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"
Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.
Why did the emo kid get mad?
I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.
Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.
An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.
Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
Why did the van cross the road?
To get to the school for the little kids.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Cool kid: I slept with your sister.
Me: Never knew my brother was a girl.
Everyone else: :O
What do you call a pool full of black kids? Baths bomb.
A kid was asking a mother for money.
Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.
The kid kept asking the mother for money.
Mother: I already told you I don't have money.
The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
Dude, ABC, what comes next?
Kid: A big fat noob.
What do you call a kid with special needs with a gun? Special Forces.
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."