Kids jokes
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
VOTING SEMIFINAL 2
LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke.
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
Can emo kids get a happy birthday?
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
What do kids have in comments? They have parents, right?
Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.
Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.
Why does a kid yell, "Shit?"
Because he had to take one.
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
When the emo kid looks at you and says, "Fuck you," run!