Kids jokes

What do you call a kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?

An expiration date.

What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?

A byebyesexual.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!

How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 53, 'cause my basement's still dark.

A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"

The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂

A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.

The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"

When you ask the cashiers for the specials menu, and they bring out the autistic kid, blind kid, and Down syndrome kid.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream?

He got hit by a bus.

What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?

Concentration camp.

I gave a blind kid a pistol and said it was a hairdryer.

My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"

How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?

They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.

What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."