Kids jokes
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."
Students: "oof"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Yeah, your parents."
Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?
A byebyesexual.
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 53, 'cause my basement's still dark.
A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.
The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?
Because they make the toys.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
I gave a blind kid a pistol and said it was a hairdryer.
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?
They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.