Kids jokes
"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
What is the difference between preschools and my basement?
Little kids come out of preschool.
I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."
Memes
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
A depressed kid went to go high five a tree.
But the tree left him hanging.
Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."
Orphan: "How?"
Kid: "You wouldn't know."
Orphan: "........."
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?
A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."
Students: "oof"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Yeah, your parents."
Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.