Kids jokes

Why can't two Asians have a white kid?

Because two wongs don't make a white.

A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."

Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?

Because they make the toys.

What do you call a kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.

When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.

So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.

What is the difference between preschools and my basement?

Little kids come out of preschool.

I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."

What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.

How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.

A depressed kid went to go high five a tree.

But the tree left him hanging.

Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."

Orphan: "How?"

Kid: "You wouldn't know."

Orphan: "........."

How do you get an emo kid to jump?

A bridge.

Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?

A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?

A baked potato.

Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?

They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.

Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."

Students: "oof"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Yeah, your parents."

Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.

How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.