Kids jokes

There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."

A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."

what did the pedophile say to the kid?

"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."

What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.

What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.

When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.

Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.

So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.

A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"

The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂

How do you get an emo kid to jump?

A bridge.

Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?

A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.

Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?

They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.

Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."

Orphan: "How?"

Kid: "You wouldn't know."

Orphan: "........."

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?

A baked potato.

Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.

Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."

Students: "oof"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Yeah, your parents."

How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.

What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?

A human chandelier.

What is the difference between preschools and my basement?

Little kids come out of preschool.

I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."