Kids jokes
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
When you were supposed to help the depressed kid, but not "help" the depressed kid.
A depressed kid went to go high five a tree.
But the tree left him hanging.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
What is the difference between preschools and my basement?
Little kids come out of preschool.
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."
Orphan: "How?"
Kid: "You wouldn't know."
Orphan: "........."
I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."
Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?
A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.