Kids jokes

Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?

Because they make the toys.

Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.

When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.

So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.

How do you get an emo kid to jump?

A bridge.

Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?

A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.

Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?

They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.

What is the difference between preschools and my basement?

Little kids come out of preschool.

I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."

A depressed kid went to go high five a tree.

But the tree left him hanging.

How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.

Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."

Students: "oof"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Yeah, your parents."

Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.

Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."

Orphan: "How?"

Kid: "You wouldn't know."

Orphan: "........."

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?

A baked potato.

How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.

I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.

What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.

What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?

A human chandelier.

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"