Kids jokes
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.
What did the downs kid get on his math test??
Drool.
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
The depressed kid wanted a high-five from the tree, but it left him hangin'.
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
Q: What makes depressed kids jump?
A: Bridges.
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns?
The suicide squad.
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.