Kids jokes

The depressed kid wanted a high-five from the tree, but it left him hangin'.

It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.

What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?

Raisin' kids.

Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?

They made the toys.

When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

How do you find out if your kid is gay?

Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.

Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?

Mum: See the four birds over there?

Kid: Huh, wait a minute.

Mum: A drunk person would see eight.

Kid: Mum, but there is only two.

My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."

Things to kids:

Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."

A Good Parent: "My baby!"

Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)

Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."

Q: What makes depressed kids jump?

A: Bridges.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.

Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?

Because no one’s looking for them.

My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"

"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns?

The suicide squad.

When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.

What did the downs kid get on his math test??

Drool.

What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

Suicide squad.