Kids jokes
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
What did the downs kid get on his math test??
Drool.
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...
What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
The depressed kid wanted a high-five from the tree, but it left him hangin'.
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
Q: What makes depressed kids jump?
A: Bridges.
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.