Kids jokes
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.
What did the downs kid get on his math test??
Drool.
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
The depressed kid wanted a high-five from the tree, but it left him hangin'.
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
Q: What makes depressed kids jump?
A: Bridges.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns?
The suicide squad.
On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.