Kids jokes
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
☠️☠️
Official Dj Penaldo playlist.
1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"
Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.
Kid: Why?
Dad: So you won't get bored.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.