Kids jokes
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
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Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.
Why?
Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"