Kids jokes

When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.

By the way, have you seen my sister?

There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?

(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)

Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.

Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?

He made the cut.

What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?

A short tistic.

Dumb kid: What does homework mean?

Teacher: J0K35? (J0K35 is me btw) can you explain to DK what homework means, please?

Me:

"Half Of My Existence Wasted On Random Knowledge"

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"

What does a middle aged man live in?

A retarded kid he keeps in the van.

What do you call an autistic kid with a minigun?

Special forces.

Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.

So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.

Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair going through a fire? Ghost Rider.

So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!

One time I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage!

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer.

When the emo kid went to high five the tree, the tree left him hanging.

FUCK EMO KIDS!

What game do emo kids hate the most?

Life.

An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?

The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

I saw a kid on the curb. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at the orphanage!

What do you call a wheelchair kid that is on fire?

Hot Wheels.