Kids jokes

Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.

What do you call an autistic kid with a minigun?

Special forces.

What does a middle aged man live in?

A retarded kid he keeps in the van.

I saw a kid on the curb. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at the orphanage!

What do you call a wheelchair kid that is on fire?

Hot Wheels.

So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂

One time I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage!

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair going through a fire? Ghost Rider.

So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!

An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?

The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

What game do emo kids hate the most?

Life.

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer.

When the emo kid went to high five the tree, the tree left him hanging.

FUCK EMO KIDS!

What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"

How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not 343,646 because my basement is still as dark as yours.

How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!

What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A bus full of kids.

What did the dumb kid call ratios?

A type of cereal.

Why can’t you yell at a kid?

Because the cops are after you.