Kids jokes

What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?

Moses hits the adoption lottery!

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

What did an Arab say to feed his kid?

'Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second airplane!'

“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.

“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"

Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."

An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.

Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

What did Osama get on his test when he was a kid? A 9/11.

How does a terrorist feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane."

What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"

I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!

Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.

I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"

He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"

"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.

I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”

What did the tree say to the depressed kid?

"Stop hanging around."

Kid singing “abcd.”

Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”

What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

What do me and an emo kid have in common:

We both like to hang.