Kids jokes

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.

Turns out, I'm just a burden.

Why do kids like bananas?

'Cause they like doing the nana.

"Look at these kids stealing ideas, bro. They're going to jail."

As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.

Because we couldn't afford a dog.

Kid: I want to be like Batman.

Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.

Genie: I told you.

Kid: .............................................

Why was the orphan kid bad at school? Because he wanted a phone call home.

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?

Kids won't eat the broccoli.

Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

Kid: Hey, Dad.

Dad: You're an hour late.

Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.

Dad: By yourself?

Kid: No.

Dad: A boy?

Kid: I was with the teacher.

What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?

Moses hits the adoption lottery!

Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."

I didn't put my kids up for adoption.

My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.

I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"

He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"

"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.

I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”

The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.

Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!

I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!

Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"