Kids jokes
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see their parents.
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
Memes
What do you call a kid who sings well?
Melodic Minor.
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."
"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."
"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."
Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.
Me: They're certainly not wrong.
Kid in 2021: I'm goated at hide and seek.
Anne Frank: I am the hide and seek champion of the world.
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
Kid finds genie lamp, wishes to be Batman.
Genie: You're now an orphan.
What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.
Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!
Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?
Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!
Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!
Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???
Me: Yea
Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.
Because we couldn't afford a dog.