Kids jokes
Why did the sped kid get expelled?
Because he was tardy.
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
What's a pedo's favorite snack?
Sour Patch Kids.
What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.
Why is the gay kid gay?
Because he likes men.
I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
The short kid came earlier than I thought. Guess he came with such short notice.
What did the parent say to M.J.?
"Get off my kid!"
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
Alle kinder hedder Rune, undtagen Kurt, han hedder Rune.
All the kids are named Rune, except Kurt, he is named Rune.
What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
Where do religious kids practice sports?
In the prayground.