Kids jokes
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo kid.
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Kick the chair out from under them.
the one kid in your class that eats super loud
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.
I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"
How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark crying.
None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
Why does the emo kid skip class?
There was a kid sitting in a corner.
Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"
Orphan: "..."
Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.
What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?
I spy.
What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.
I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.