Kids jokes

What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

He never came back the next day, says the local news.

What animal jumps the highest?

An emo kid, some of them are still up there.

What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice guts, G!"

I gave an emo kid money.

He gave me the great depression.

Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.

Kid: How much do you get paid?

Teacher: Minimum wage.

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."

"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."

My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.

No, they will be wondering what I look like.

Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!

What did the kid say to the orphan?

"Well, at least I have parents!"

Kid: I got homework.

Mom: Ok, so?

Kid: I got a F in my balls.

Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.

Me: Where's your mom?

Kid: [cries]

Me: [leaving from the adoption center]

Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.

Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!

Kid with mother: Your mom!

What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?

Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.

I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"

Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.

Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.