Kids jokes
Kid: I want to be like Batman.
Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.
Genie: I told you.
Kid: .............................................
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.
Because we couldn't afford a dog.
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!
I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”
Memes
What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.
Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.
Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.
That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:
What's a pedo's favorite snack?
Sour Patch Kids.
The short kid came earlier than I thought. Guess he came with such short notice.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
Why is the gay kid gay?
Because he likes men.
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
What did the parent say to M.J.?
"Get off my kid!"
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
Where do religious kids practice sports?
In the prayground.
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.