Kids jokes

Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.

What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?

Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.

Why does the emo kid skip class?

There was a kid sitting in a corner.

Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"

Orphan: "..."

Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Kick the chair out from under them.

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!

Me: My therapist says I need those to live.

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_

Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.

Have you met Bofa?

Bofa deez blind kids!

If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎

It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hangout.

I saw them hanging all day.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.

"Knuckle babies" don't eat.

My name is Devonair.

When I get a haircut, it's always bald.

Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."

My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*

I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.