Kids jokes

My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.

No, they will be wondering what I look like.

I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"

Me: Where's your mom?

Kid: [cries]

Me: [leaving from the adoption center]

Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!

What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?

I spy.

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo kid.

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.

I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.

I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"

How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they sit in the dark crying.

None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.

The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.

What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?

"Long time no see!"

Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

Why do blind kids like plane crashes?

Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.

How do emo kids compliment each other? They say, "I like your cuts, G!"

Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.

What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?

Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)