Kids jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?
Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*
Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.
Why can’t Santa have kids?
He only cums once a year.
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Why do emo kids wear hoodies?
They hang easier.