Kids jokes
I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him, I feel disappointment.
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
I saw a kid crying today. I asked him where his parents were.
I love working at an orphanage.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.
Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*
Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.