Kids jokes

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.

Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.

A kid just becomes an orphan, well, I guess it's better than being a hobo.

I heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your Pringles.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why?

To get to the gay kid's house.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!

Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.

He still is a kid.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Both can't see their parents.

What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?

"Just beat it."

What hit the ground first, a feather or the emo kid?

The feather, because the emo kid was left hanging.

Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.

If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"

All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.

What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?

The Chinese kid has a home.

Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*

Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!

I saw a kid crying today. I asked him where his parents were.

I love working at an orphanage.