Kids jokes
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the gay kid's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.
Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.
Kid 1: Aw, thanks!
Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10
I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents are.
I love my job at the orphanage.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.