Kids jokes

Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.

He still is a kid.

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

How do blind kids get punished?

By moving the furniture around the house.

I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.

What animal can jump the highest? The emo kids.

The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five. Unfortunately, the tree left him hanging...

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

I read to deaf kids in my spare time.

Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)

"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"

I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.

Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?

That depressed kid in class: Dead.

So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.

"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021

Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.

He never sees his kids.

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?

"Just beat it."

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

A suicide squad.