Kids jokes

What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?

Both of those are commonly found in basements.

What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?

"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"

High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣

Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.

Mum: And that is?

*Kid walks out.*

*Kid comes back in with milk.*

Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!

What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.

How do you punish a blind kid?

Rearrange the furniture.

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/

Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.

What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?

They both have special needs.

Why can't fat kids change a tire?

They would eat the donut.

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?

"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?