Kids jokes
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.
The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
What does one emo kid say to the other?
"I like your cuts, G."
This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
Mom: Let's have an adoption party!
Kid: *cries*
Mom: What's wrong?
Kid: I'M ADOPTED????
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?
Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.
Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
Q: What did the emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: I like ya cut, G.