Kids jokes
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.
Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!
A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?
One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.
Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.
What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?
Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.
I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.