Kids jokes
What would a tree do if a depressed kid tried to high five it?
I would leave them hanging.
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
Teacher: Alright class, let's sing our ABC's!
The gay kid: LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?
They both are plastic and like kids.
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.
7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.
All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.
7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
What do you call a pool full of black kids? Baths bomb.
I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.
What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?
You cry when you cut an onion.
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”