Kids jokes
When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
"I like ya cut G" means two different things.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"
Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven.”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart.”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “How do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?””
Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:
*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of kids.
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
Why do emo kids wear hoodies all the time?
Because they are hiding stitches.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.