Kids jokes

Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.

Son: Really?

Also 2 hours later:

Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.

Mom: Son, I-

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.

Called a homeless kid 'Spider-Man' because he had no way home.

Q: What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

A: Special forces.

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?

“Here comes the airplane!”

I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.

Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?

A: Give them a Happy Meal.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...

"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.

House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.

What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.

What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.

I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.

That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”

What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.

What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?

They both are plastic and like kids.

Why can’t two Asians make a white kid?

Because two wrongs don’t make a white.

School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.

There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)