Kids jokes

What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?

Pot roast.

Me: What's yellow and can't swim?

My sister: What??

Me: A school bus filled with kids.

Kid: Where do I put this paper?

Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

Kid: Yes, you told me to!

Teacher: I meant at school!

Kid: Ohhhhhh!

Teacher: Duh!

To start, I'm a big fella in size.

I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.

Funny jokes are like kids with autism.

They have special needs to make them.

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's sketchers light up.

DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you're gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌

Vote for the better joke!

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?

Answer: cancer.

Dark humor is like food:

Not everyone gets it.

Or a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"

"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.

Kid: Hi.

Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?

Kid: Why are you rude?

Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

How are this joke and the kid with cancer alike?

It never gets old.

I would stop bullying the orphan kid, what's he gonna do? Cry to his mommy?

What do you call a kid going fast on a wheelchair?

Hot Wheels.

Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?

So it can hang him.

Teacher: What’s the closest planet?

Kids yell: Sun.

Except for one.

Other kid: Uranus.

Teacher: Uranus?

Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.

When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"

I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.

Orphan: "What family?"