Kids jokes
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?
The tree leaves them hanging.
I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?
Dad:
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”
What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.