Kids jokes

What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."

Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.

What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?

The tree leaves them hanging.

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

Kid: I want to be Batman.

Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.

Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?

Dad:

Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.

Son: Really?

Also 2 hours later:

Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.

Mom: Son, I-

What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?

They both got a 10% survival rate...

What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?

"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"

Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.

If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?

How do tourists feed their kids?

Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.

What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

One day, a kid walks up to their mom and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a daisy landed on your head." The second kid asks, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a butterfly landed on your head." Then you hear, "Ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf."

"Shut up, Brick!"

What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?

Pot roast.