Kids jokes

Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.

Son: Really?

Also 2 hours later:

Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.

Mom: Son, I-

The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!

What can jump higher than a basketball player?

An emo kid, they never touch the ground.

Kid #1: You're adopted.

Kid #2: At least they wanted me.

Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.

If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?

One day, a kid walks up to their mom and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a daisy landed on your head." The second kid asks, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a butterfly landed on your head." Then you hear, "Ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf."

"Shut up, Brick!"

What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?

Pot roast.

Me: What's yellow and can't swim?

My sister: What??

Me: A school bus filled with kids.

Kid: Where do I put this paper?

Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

Kid: Yes, you told me to!

Teacher: I meant at school!

Kid: Ohhhhhh!

Teacher: Duh!

Funny jokes are like kids with autism.

They have special needs to make them.

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's sketchers light up.

DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you're gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌

Vote for the better joke!

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.

A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?

Answer: cancer.

What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?

Autistemist Prime.

Dark humor is like food:

Not everyone gets it.

Or a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"

A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."