Kids jokes

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.

I've seen them hanging all day.

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."

What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?

Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.

I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.

I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.

What’s Helen Keller’s favorite game as a kid?

I spy.

Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?

Dad:

What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?

If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!

How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?

It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.

Parents are like food—not all kids get them.

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."

What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?

The tree leaves them hanging.

I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."