Kids jokes

I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.

When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

What’s Helen Keller’s favorite game as a kid?

I spy.

A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.

What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?

Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.

How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?

It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.

I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.

What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."

Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.

Kid: Knock, knock.

Orphan: Who’s there?

Kid: Not your parents.

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.

Parents are like food—not all kids get them.

What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?

If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.