Kids jokes

Kid: Knock, knock.

Orphan: Who’s there?

Kid: Not your parents.

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who made it to the floor first?

The leaf. The emo kid was caught on a rope.

I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.

I've seen them hanging all day.

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

What’s Helen Keller’s favorite game as a kid?

I spy.

A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.

What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!

How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?

It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."

What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?

Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.

Parents are like food—not all kids get them.

What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?

If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.

I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.