Kids jokes

That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”

What was the African kid with water called...? The lucky one. 😭😭

What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...

"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.

Why can’t two Asians make a white kid?

Because two wrongs don’t make a white.

School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.

Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?

A: Give them a Happy Meal.

What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.

What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?

They both are plastic and like kids.

What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?

“Here comes the airplane!”

I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.

There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

I got detention yesterday because I called the group of emo kids the suicide squad.

I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

Kid: Knock, knock.

Orphan: Who’s there?

Kid: Not your parents.