Kids jokes

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.

I've seen them hanging all day.

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

What’s Helen Keller’s favorite game as a kid?

I spy.

A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.

What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!

How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?

It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."

What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?

Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.

Parents are like food—not all kids get them.

What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?

If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.

I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

Kid: I want to be Batman.

Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.

Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.

If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?

What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?

They both got a 10% survival rate...

I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.

They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."