Kids jokes

How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?

It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?

Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.

I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.

What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!

I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.

I've seen them hanging all day.

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.

What’s Helen Keller’s favorite game as a kid?

I spy.

That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”

What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.

What was the African kid with water called...? The lucky one. 😭😭

When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.