One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
Kids Jokes
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)
I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?
They both are plastic and like kids.
One day, a kid walks up to their mom and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a daisy landed on your head." The second kid asks, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a butterfly landed on your head." Then you hear, "Ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf."
"Shut up, Brick!"
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
