Kids jokes

What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?

They both got a 10% survival rate...

Kid #1: You're adopted.

Kid #2: At least they wanted me.

Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?

What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?

Neither do ever grow old.

What can jump higher than a basketball player?

An emo kid, they never touch the ground.

What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.

What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.

House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.

Q: What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

A: Special forces.

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)

I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.

I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.

They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."

The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!

Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.

Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?

Dumb kid: The W???

Kid: I want to be Batman.

Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.

If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?

They both are plastic and like kids.

One day, a kid walks up to their mom and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a daisy landed on your head." The second kid asks, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a butterfly landed on your head." Then you hear, "Ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf."

"Shut up, Brick!"