What happened when the depressed kid went to give it a high five?
It left him hanging.
Kids Jokes
A guy in a white helmet telling kids to kill themselves.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
Why do trees never call emo kids? Because they always hang up on them.
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?
"I don’t have a mama."
One day, a kid walks up to their mom and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a daisy landed on your head." The second kid asks, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a butterfly landed on your head." Then you hear, "Ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf."
"Shut up, Brick!"
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
Kid: Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
Nerd: Because they're marsupials.
Kid: No, because they didn’t have the koala-fication!
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.
Kid: So what? At least they love me more.
What fell first, the emo kid or the leaf? The leaf, 'cause the emo kid just hung.
Yo mama so dumb, when a kid told her to “give her a fag,” she kidnapped Ricardo!
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
