Kids jokes

What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?

The Chinese kid has a home.

All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.

I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.

Yesterday I got detention because I said to the emo kid, "Come hang with us."

Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.

What do you call a kid hanging? An emo kid!

Do you know about the new movie Disney made just for cancer kids? It's called Finding Kemo.

Why do blind kids like plane crashes?

Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.

There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.

You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

Then I start to think I was the problem :(

Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?

It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.

How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!

Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:

1. USA was NEVER invaded!

2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!

3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!

4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.

5. We have more allies than you.

6. We are smaller but stronger.

7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!

Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.

Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.

Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.

Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.