Kids jokes

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What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.

I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.

What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.

There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"

Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?

The apple, because the rope caught the kid.

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.

So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!

There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.