Kids jokes

My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.

Yesterday I had a party in my basement.

I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not 343,646 because my basement is still as dark as yours.

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...

Just kidding!

So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.

I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Students: "Meat."

Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"

Students: "Bacon."

Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"

One of the students: "Homework!"

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.

There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.

There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.

I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.

How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?

He can't run, just hug the bomb.

What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?

CANCER!

Just kidding, they are both fun to laugh at.

Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.

An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.

Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.