Kids jokes
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
Orphan: I fucked your mom.
Kid: At least mine survived from it.
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
Kid: Hi Mum!
Mum: Hi, Loser!
Kid: Why?
Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!
Kid: Waaaaaaa!
I know this is not funny, but who cares?
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents were...
Man, I love working at an orphanage.
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
I'm in school lol.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
What famous book writer for kids loved insects?
Beatrix Potter.