Kids jokes
I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.
When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
This is a bad one but why do orphans hate their life even more in 2021?
Cause kids just laugh at them...
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five...
...but it left him hanging.
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
The depressed kid tried to high five the tree.
But the tree left him hanging!
How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"
I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.