Kid jokes

Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?

Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.

Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?

That autistic kid having sex for the first time:

"U The Hips, U The Hips!"

What do Israel and Epstein have in common?

"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."

Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?

Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.

You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

Then I start to think I was the problem :(

Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD

Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

A starving homeless kid asks me for food.

I said, "sorry, my plate is full."

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Kick the chair out from under them.

What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?

Hans Solo.

I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"

He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"

"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.

What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?

Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.

What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.

Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!

Hey kids, are you ready for Faptisim?

Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.

Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”

Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”