Kid jokes

I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD

Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?

Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.

That autistic kid having sex for the first time:

"U The Hips, U The Hips!"

Ask the emo kid: "Hey, how's it hanging?"

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?

Answer: cancer.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?

Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.

Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.

Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.

What do you call a white kid looking at infants?

Pedophilia boy.

Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.

Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!

Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!

Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!

Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.

Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.

Kid 1: Aw, thanks!

Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.

The quiet kid, orphan, and school shooter walked into a bar, and he ordered a beer.

If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?

A. Nothing, they both die at ten.

When you ask an orphan to come over:

Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"

Orphan: "Yeah, sure."

Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."

Teacher: “Alright, we’re going to play Kahoot! Please use your real name.”

That one kid putting Joe: -_-

Teacher: Who’s Joe?

The whole class: JOE MAMA!

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"