Kid jokes

I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?

He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

What's an orphan's favorite movie?

"Home Alone."

I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?

Hot Wheels!

Why do orphan kids never eat homemade food? Because they don’t even have one!

Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.

A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.

Friends = your power level.

Emo kid = power level: 0000.

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.

Emo chick: "I wish I could feel dead inside!"

The kid named Dead: "😄😄😄"

I gave a deaf kid AirPods.

I told a blind kid, "See you later!"

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"

I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.

One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.

No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.

His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.

Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.