Keep jokes
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
Just to get things straight, I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT racist, but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.
Bully: Your skin is so black and ugly (for the 5th time).
Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color!
Bully: Ew, no I don't!
Me: Then why do you keep talking about it?
What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Uriah. Uriah who? Keep Uriah on the ball, Laquon Treadwell!
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂
Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?
On a website.
Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?
Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.
What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
Make a wish.
Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.
Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!
Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
My friend: "Yo, stupid."
Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"
My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."
Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.