Joke jokes
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
Memes
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
I crashed into those motherfuckers! 😂😂😂
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? - 'Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"