Joke jokes
What do you call the whole population turning into emos?
The Great Depression.
To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
What do a fat chick and a moped have in common?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
Hubble just spotted something huge coming out of Uranus.
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt, she says, "Oh, what chest!" "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby," he replies. Then he takes off his pants, she says, "Oh, what legs!" He says, "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running. He catches her and says, "Why were you running?" She said, "I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."
The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!