Joke jokes
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?
Up Shepherd's leg.
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
What's a pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine!
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
What do you call a clock on a belt?
A waist of time.
My cat got run down. That is a cat-astrophe.
Want to hear a pun?
Well, I'll punch you with one!
Wanna hear a pun?
Welp, I'll punch you with one!
Aren't I badly good?
What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?
"I got stuck in a butt crack!"
Why wasn’t the frog 🐸 crying?
Because he was hoppy.
What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?
Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.
If an orphan were to get a takeaway, what’s the home address?
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.