Joke jokes
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?
Up Shepherd's leg.
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.
Do you wanna hear a joke about vegetables? Never mind, it's too corny.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 ate 9.
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
What nut is broken? A silly nut!
What did the rock say to the flower?
Rocks can't talk. -.-
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Uriah. Uriah who? Keep Uriah on the ball, Laquon Treadwell!
Why did Mrs. Henderson get a divorce from her husband, Harry?
She was tired of everyone calling the family "Hairy" and the Hendersons.
Michael Vick is coming to town, hide your dogs!
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk?
What did the Joker say to Harley Quinn?
Nothing.
Chris started to tell me a joke about a nut, but he couldn't finish it.