Joke jokes
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?
Up Shepherd's leg.
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
When do eggs hatch?
At the CRACK of dawn!
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he broke his leg?
Hospital or Currys PC World?
Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu. You get what you deserve!
A man with a mullet walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "The party's in the back!"
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
What's the difference between anal and oral sex?
An and Or!
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
Why did Steward die in the toilet?
He saw his Undercut in the mirror.
Two men walk into a bar. You’d think at least one of them would have ducked.
How do skeletons make love?
They bone each other!
What do you call a cow without any legs?
Ground beef!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What comes to visit more often than your aunt? Your acne.