Joke

Joke jokes

Bee

Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?

Because he loves his honey.

Politician

I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.

I've seen too many of them get elected.

Survivor

This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭

Memes

Pregnant woman

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.

What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

They're both accidents.

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  • Friend

    Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.

    Friend: Why?

    Me: So they would hang themselves.

    Teeth

    The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"

    The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"

    "Yellow and far apart."

    Sally

    Why did Sally fall out of the swing?

    She had no arms.

    Why couldn’t she get up?

    Because she had no friends.

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  • Onion

    What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?

    I cry peeling onions!

    White men

    Who says “white men can't jump?” They certainly did when the twin towers were falling.

    Whale

    I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"