Joke jokes
I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.
I've seen too many of them get elected.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
Memes
those one people that joke around to much
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"
The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"
"Yellow and far apart."
Why did Sally fall out of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn’t she get up?
Because she had no friends.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time?
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
Did you know the F in Orphan stands for family?
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
Who says “white men can't jump?” They certainly did when the twin towers were falling.
How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?
When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.