Joke Jokes

What do u call a depressed person

Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves

Why did Sally fall out of the swing She had no arms Why couldn’t she get up Because she had no friends.

What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.

Who says ‘white men cant jump’ they certainly did when the twin towers were falling

Did you know the F in Orphan stands for family?

What makes sad people jump? Bridges.

Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time

What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry peeling Onions!

What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?

U Can't Touch Kids

What did a cannibal have as his last meal?

Five guys.

A husband comes home from work one day and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."

What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest

Hey, wanna hear an abortion joke? Never mind, I can't deliver it.

Website: Submit a joke :-) Me: My life.

Here's a better version of a previous joke:

I would tell you a milk joke, but its whey too cheesy!

I gave a blind kid a gun telling him it was a hair drier.

A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is. So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks 'What are you?', the baby bunny replies 'Well I'm a baby bunny. What are you?' the baby skunk says 'Well I don't know am I a baby bunny too?' the baby bunny says 'No you're not a baby bunny.' so the baby skunk asks 'Well what am I then?' the baby bunny replies 'Well you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white so you must be Mexican.'

Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and whent up to her mom and asked "mom I have hair on my privates,what is it?" "OH honey thats your monkey." The mom says So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says "my monkey has hair on it" so the sister replies with a laugh "you think thats cool my monkey is already eating bananas