Joke jokes
Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.
My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.
A man walked into a library. He asked the librarian, "Have you got a book on how to commit suicide?" The librarian replied, "No, you'd never bring it back!"
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?
Because he loves his honey.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
Memes
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
Why did Sally fall out of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn’t she get up?
Because she had no friends.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
Did you know the F in Orphan stands for family?
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time?
Who says “white men can't jump?” They certainly did when the twin towers were falling.
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.