Joke jokes
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.
I've seen too many of them get elected.
A man walked into a library. He asked the librarian, "Have you got a book on how to commit suicide?" The librarian replied, "No, you'd never bring it back!"
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.
My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.
Memes
Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?
Because he loves his honey.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"
The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"
"Yellow and far apart."
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
Why did Sally fall out of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn’t she get up?
Because she had no friends.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time?
Who says “white men can't jump?” They certainly did when the twin towers were falling.
Did you know the F in Orphan stands for family?
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.