Joke jokes
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
Why do you go to the bank?
To get money.
When do you run from the bank?
When the cops come.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
Cotton waiting to be picked.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not Susie!"
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)
My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.
Why? Why would you do that?
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.
What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?
"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed?
A) Cancer.
Were Japanese suicide bombers taught to fly, or was it just a quick crash course?
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.
I sit because I can't stand you.
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.